Hi ladies,
Today started off funky.
I found myself wondering when the day would come that I would simply
give up. Start dreaming of the puppy I will buy and all the things
I will do with the money I will save, not having a child,
like getting my wrinkles operated on and erased.
Heck, maybe I will get my whole face erased.
How will I feel when I finally give up?
I got really quiet thinking about it.
I will never be a "real woman."
I will continue to hear my family complain of how hard their lives are
because they have children. I will continue to see my friends raise
their families. What will it feel like when I give up?
Anyway I was getting morose. So then I came along this thing that I had
taped to the 'fridge. It doesn't have anything to do with conception,
but it cheered me. Here it is:
BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN:
-We got off the Titanic first
-We scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder oxcuses
-We can cry and get off speednig fines
-No fashion faux pas we can make will ever rival "the Speedo"
-We don't look like a frog in a blender when we dance
-We don't have to fart (excuse the language) to amuse ourselves
-If we forget to shave, no one has to know
-We can congratulate our teammate without ever having to touch her rear
-We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there
-If we're dumb some people will find it cute
-We have the ability to dress ourselves
-We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked
-If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot
-There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems
-We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra
-We'll never regret piercing our ears
-We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes
Anyway ladies this cheered my somewhat. This is a melancholy day.
Jenny2 <
Arden, NC USA -
"Well meaning advice I'd like to stuff down their throats" You know who I'm refering too...those
insenstive, normal fertility people who find out about our plight.
1. JUST RELAX (I swear someone's going to see my head doing a 360
the next time I hear that one)
2. OMG! Your doing fertility treatments?
Aren't you afraid of having, like, a litter?
3. You don't want kids anyway...mine drive me nuts.
4. So what's that mean? Your dh can't perform or something?
5. I think it's all a bunch of mumbo-jumbo.
Just have sex every other day for a week and you'll be pg.
6. These doctors do it on purpose not to get you pg
so they can make money"
7. The best came from my dh boss when we had to do retrieval for ivf....
and i happened to fall on a work day...
"can't you do it tommorow"
after i heard that i knew morons still exist...lol
8. I mean like shots and everything just to feel the discomfort of pg?
I mean, you are planning to adopt in the future anyway"
9. Why would you put yourself through this
said by a woman who was 36 weeks pg.
"I'd be glad to offer my services," spoken be well meaning but
insensitive male friends UCK! I don't think so!
10. Here's one I actually heard.."Why don't you adopt?
Everyone who adopts gets pg right away." GGGRRRR
11. My favorite one,that my dear (sarcasm)Sister-in-law said was,
"Are you sure you're 'doing it' right?"
12. Why are you putting your body throught all these drugs and hormones.
Don't do it to your body. You shouldn't put yourself through it all."
13 "You can have my kids, the pain is not worth it".....
that one breaks my heart.
How you know you've been to the doctor too much......
1. They recognize your voice on the phone.
2. They receptionist knows your ss number/insurance policy number by heart.
3. Your dr asks how the presentation you did for work last week went...
he noticed you were dressed up last time.
4. You quit worrying about how you look "down there" b/c
Mr. Love Wand has seen you at ALL times of the month anyway.
5. Your mad b/c the new magazines for the waiting room have not come in yet.
6. Your mad b/c the magazine with the article you couldn't finish last time
has disappeared.
7. The receptionist automatically looks for openings on "Tuesday" b/c
she knows what days you have off of work.
8. The pharmacist has your script ready and waiting for you.
Greets with a smile saying "I was wondering when you'd pick this up"
9. The nurses/lab techs know which arm she stabbed you in
last time before you even pull up your sleeve.
Anybody have anything they want to add??????
10. You need a new filing cabinet for all your medical receipts
11. The tech always sees me to my "special room" knowing I need to lie down
when having blood drawn.
12. when you know the RE's or nurses pager # by heart,
but can't remember DH's pager #
13. You get annoyed when anyone else parks in "your" spot
14. When the receptionist no longer asks your birthdate when taking message
for re, or when you walk in and they know your name??? here's your chart.
or when the RN even calls you up and says "I'm crossing everything for
you this cycle, you've been thru so much"
15. You have your diagnosis code memorized (mine is 628) LOL
16. You already know so they don't have to ask you to
"Scootch down the table just a bit!"
17. you know how to work the controls on the bed and get
into the position for U/S
18. You are actually excited about the 2ww b/c you know
you won't have any more RE bills for 2 weeks!
19. When you walk into the waiting room, you realize
that you've already read *every* magazine in there and they are all
*weekly* magazines!
Collectively, by the IUI/IVF Board
USA -
I hope this story gives everyone the determination NOT
to give up. I know we've all made more lemonaid than we
ever thought possible, but what else do you do with all
those lemons? :)
Here's to the wonderful spirit of womanhood...
PADDLING UPSTREAM
Children have always been an important part of my life.
As a kindergarten teacher for twenty-eight years, I was
surrounded by childrem - other people's children, for
I'd had none of my own.
In my married life, twenty-five years ago, we tried to have
children. After my divorce, I tried artificial
insemination. Still no baby. To someone who had always been
drawn to motherhood, it was all the more heartbreaking
when it never happened.
Feeling as though I was desperately running out of time,
I decided it was time to really get serious! This was going
to happen. Period. I was going to take every step necessary
to have a baby. Every time I came to an obstacle, I would
get past it. Deep inside, I knew I would be a mom.
I retired from teaching and devoted myself to preparing for
motherhood. Although the physicians in the fertility clinic
said my chances were growing slimmer, I surrounded myself
with people who supported my dream. I didn't give up even
when I felt I was paddling upstream against a strong
current.
Using money from my early retirement, I funded an embryo
transfer. While a donor egg was readily available, the
sperm proved trickier. I fearfully appreached a man I'd
been dating a short time. I remember how awkward and
emotional I felt telling him about my dream. I asked him
to donate his sperm. Tears welled in his eyes. Rather than
run, he was honored to be a part of my passionate quest.
I continued dreaming of having a child. I meditated about
having a child. I created affirmations like "I am healthy,
happy and pregnant!" I made a huge poster covered with
photographs of babies and pregnant women. It was in a
prominent place in my home, so everyone who came in could
see and believe with me.
The embryo implantation was successful - I did not expect
anything other than that! My pregnancy was problem free.
The C-section went smoothly, and on March 29, 199,
Zachary Lee Roth entered my life.
There's an analogy I strongly relate to. I'm like a salmon.
The salmon has one goal: to get back to that spawning ground
and lay her eggs. It will thrash through the rapids and
over the rocks. It gets battered, but not beaten. No matter
what, that determined salmon will get there or die. I'm
definitely that salmon - I made it!
I'm hard to reach these days. I'm busy playing with my
young son. It's a miracle to watch him grow and change each
day. It's a miracle I'm on my own, yet able to create this
beautiful young child.
When I got to that place where I could see what I had to
have, nothing could stop me. Having a baby was miracle
enough. What made it a major miracle was having my baby at
age fifty.
Harriet Roth
(Copied from CHOCOLATE FOR A WOMAN'S SOUL by Kay Allenbaugh)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~~**~
Here's to each and every salmon on this board!
From one 41 yr old mom to be, to you all!!
Love, Lisa F~ IVF miracle baby, edd 4/18/00
Lisa F~ "Elder Mom2B", and proud of it!
Atlanta, GA USA -
can anybody help me and my partner with some helpful tips on concieving our first child?
marie <
lincs, Uk -
This is quite a long e-mail that I got from a very close friend who is also having her own TTC trials and tribulations and I wanted to share it with all of you!
A CONVERSATION BETWEEN FRIENDS
We are sitting at lunch when my friend casually mentioons that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family"
"We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "No more sleeping ing on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations..."
But that is not what I ment at all. I look at my friend trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she
will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her
with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider arning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What
if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children she wonders if anything
could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is,
becomind a mother will reduce her to the primative level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "MOM!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her
best crystal without a moments hesitation. I feel I should war her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed
bt motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She
will have to use every ounce of her disclipine to keep from running home, just to make sure that her baby is alright. I want my friend to know that everyday decisions
will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the mens room rather than the womens at McDonalds will become a major dilemma. That right there in the
midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independance and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that
restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually
she will shed the pounds of pregnancy but she will never feel the same way about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.
That she would give it up any moment to save her offspring but will also begin to hope for more years--not to accomplishher own dreams but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My friend's relationship with her husband will change but not the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think that she should know that she
will fall in love with him again for reasons that she would now find very unromantic. I wish my friend could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried]
to stop war, prejudice, and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of
nuclear war to my childrens future. I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby
who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts. My friends quizzical look makes me realize that
tears have formed in my eyes.
"You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my friends hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women
who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.....the blessed gift of God and that of being a mother.
DianaNY <
>
Endicott, NY USA -
Hello to everyone,
I received this inspiring talk today and wanted to share it with my friends here. Im sorry I havent been around, but I have been swamped with work. No more after Valentines day, so Ill be back.
Love, Maimee
>Anna Quindlen's Villanova Commencement Address -
>
>It's a great honor for me to be the third member of my
>family to receive an
>honorary doctorate from this great university. It's an
>honor to follow my
>Great-uncle Jim, who was a gifted physician, and my
>Uncle Jack, who is a
>remarkable businessman. Both of them could have told
>you something important
>about their professions, about medicine or commerce. I
>have no specialized
>field of interest or expertise, which puts me at a
>disadvantage, talking to
>you today. I'm a novelist. My work is human nature.
>Real life is all I know.
>
>Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work.
>The second is only part
>of the first. Don't ever forget what a friend once
>wrote Senator Paul
>Tsongas when the senator decided not to run for
>re-election because he'd
>been diagnosed with cancer: "No man ever said on his
>deathbed I wish I had
>spent more time in the office." Don't ever forget the
>words my father sent
>me on a postcard last year: "If you win the rat race,
>you're still a rat."
>Or what John Lennon wrote before he was gunned down in
>the driveway of the
>Dakota: "Life is what happens while you are busy
>making other plans."
>
>You walk out of here this afternoon with only one
>thing that no one else
>has. There will be hundreds of people out there with
>your same degree; there
>will be thousands of people doing what you want to do
>for a living. But you
>will be the only person alive who has sole custody of
>your life.
>Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your
>life at a desk,
>or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the
>computer. Not
>just the life of your mind, but the life of your
>heart. Not just your bank
>account, but your soul.
>
>People don't talk about the soul very much anymore.
>It's so much easier to
>write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is
>a cold comfort on a
>winter night, or when you're sad, or broke, or
>lonely, or when you've
>gotten back the test results and they're not so good.
>
>Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three
>children. I have tried never
>to let my profession stand in the way of being a good
>parent. I no longer
>consider myself the center of the universe. I show
>up. I listen. I try to
>laugh.
>
>I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make
>marriage vows mean
>what they say. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I
>am a good friend to my friends, and they to me.
>Without them, there would be nothing to say to you
>today, because I would be a
>cardboard cutout. But I call them on the phone, and I
>meet them for lunch. I
>show up. I listen. I try to laugh.
>
>I would be rotten, or at best mediocre at my job, if
>those other things were
>not true. You cannot be really first rate at your work
>if your work is all
>you are.
>
>So here's what I wanted to tell you today: get a life.
>A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next
>promotion, the bigger
>paycheck, the larger house.
>Do you think you'd care so very much about those
>things if you blew an
>aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your
>breast?
>
>Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water
>pushing itself on a
>breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop
>and watch how a red
>tailed hawk circles over the water gap or the way a
>baby scowls with
>concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with
>her thumb and first
>finger.
>
>Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you
>love, and who love
>you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is
>work. Each time you look
>at your diploma, remember that you are still a
>student, l learning how to
>best treasure your connection to others. Pick up the
>phone. Send an e-mail.
>Write a letter. Kiss your Mom. Hug your Dad.
>
>Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at
>the azaleas in the
>suburban neighborhood where you grew up; look at a
>full moon hanging silver
>in a black, black sky on a cold night. And realize
>that life is the best
>thing ever, and that you have no business taking it
>for granted. Care so
>deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it
>around. Take money
>you would have spent on beers and give it to charity.
>Work in a soup
>kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want
>to do well. But if you
>do not do good, too, then doing well will never be
>enough.
>
>It is so easy to waste our lives: our days, our hours,
>our minutes. It is
>so easy to take for granted the color of the azaleas,
>the sheen of the
>limestone on Fifth Avenue, the color of our kids eyes,
>the way the melody
>in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises
>again. It is so easy
>to exist instead of live.
>
>I learned to live many years ago. Something really,
>really bad happened to
>me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I
>had my druthers, it
>would never have been changed at all. And what I
>learned from it is what,
>today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all. I
>learned to love the journey,
>not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress
>rehearsal, and that
>today is the only guarantee you get.
>
>I learned to look at all the good in the world and to
>try to give some of it
>back because I believed in it completely and utterly.
>And I tried to do
>that, in part, by telling others what I had learned.
>By telling them this:
>
>Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on
>a baby's ear. Read in
>the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be
>happy. And think of life
>as a terminal illness because if you do you will live
>it with joy and
>passion as it ought to be lived.
>
>Well, you can learn all those things, out there, if
>you get a real life, a
>full life, a professional life, yes, but another life,
>too, a life of love
>and laughs and a connection to other human beings.
>Just keep your eyes and
>ears open. Here you could learn in the classroom.
>There the classroom is
>everywhere. The exam comes at the very end. No man
>ever said on his
>deathbed I wish I had spent more time at the office.
>
>I found one of my best teachers on the boardwalk at
>Coney Island maybe 15
>years ago. It was December, and I was doing a story
>about how the homeless
>survive in the winter months. He and I sat on the edge
>of the wooden
>supports, dangling our feet over the side, and he told
>me about his
>schedule, panhandling the boulevard when the summer
>crowds were gone,
>sleeping in a church when the temperature went below
>freezing, hiding from
>the police midst the Tilt a Whirl and the Cyclone and
>some of the other
>seasonal rides. But he told me that most of the time
>he stayed on the
>boardwalk, facing the water, just the way we were
>sitting now even when it
>got cold and he had to wear his newspapers after he
>read them. And I asked
>him why. Why didn't he go to one of the shelters? Why
>didn't he check
>himself into the hospital for detox?
>
>And he just stared out at the ocean and said, "Look at
>the view, young lady.
>Look at the view."
>
>And every day, in some little way, I try to do what he
>said. I try to look
>at the view. And that's the last thing I have to tell
>you today, words of
>wisdom from a man with not a dime in his pocket, no
>place to go, nowhere to
>be.
>
>Look at the view. You'll never be disappointed.
>
maimee <peleo@gte.net>
Long Beach, CA USA -
Hi, I�m writing this because I needed to talk to somebody, yesterday i got AF visit and I�m very depressed, I�m sad and thats all I wanted to say, sorry for such a depressing mesagge.
Eli <>
M�xico -
A Christmas letter to my friends with children...
Merry Christmas. I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas & remind you how lucky you are. I bet you don't even know how lucky you are. I bet that you take for granted the one thing I want most. A child. As we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, I feel a longing in my heart for a child of my own. Please, I beg you - if you never think about this again please listen to me now. Go right away and kiss your children. Go gather them up in your arms & love them. Appreciate their smell & the way their hair feels. Look at their little hands & rosy cheeks. When you are opening gifts with your children on Christmas morning, take time to thank God for what you have. Live in the moment & savor the feeling you have. You are blessed. You are so blessed. I too am blessed with all that I have and there is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God - but I still long for a child. I can't imagine the excitement on Christmas morning when there are children in the house. My house is so quiet. I can't im
agine leaving cookies out for Santa. In my house we are too grown up to believe in Santa. I can't imagine appreciating the look on your child's face as he/she unwraps their favorite toy. Sure, I buy gifts for my nephew - and I enjoy him - but to have my own child is a dream - a long standing Christmas wish of my own. Take the day, on Christmas, to be thankful. Don't get mad when one of your children spills milk. Don't yell at them for leaving the wrapping paper on the floor. Don't threaten them to clean up their toys. Enjoy them & be thankful for what you have. Get on your knees & thank God. Thank him until you feel it in your stomach. Can you imagine your life without your kids? I bet you can't. Now think how it must feel to have no choice. I have no choice & I like to live vicariously through you - my friends who have children. But God bless the day that I can complain that my house is too noisy - or too messy - or there are little grape jelly hand prints on the walls. God bless that day.
I can't wait. I don't want you to feel sorry for me & I am not trying to make you feel guilty - My only wish is that you realize that you are blessed by God & you thank Him for what you have. Merry Christmas to you and your family
Nancy <
>
Babylon, NY USA -
Here is something my best friend sent to me in a story.
"My God, I have never thanked Thee for my thorns! I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear, teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbow." --George Matheson
Carolyn <
>
Jacksonville, FL USA -
Hey everyone, I am new to this site. Today was my first day on it and i was so encouraged by all the stories. I have been ttc for a year and a half now. My husband is in the military, so we see military doctors. Unfortunatly, they don't take anything serious. I am tired of going to them for help and only coming out hopelessly. Please give me some advice. Also, my best friend has just found out that she is pregnant, this was an unplanned pregnancy. Anyway,when she told me I found myself bitter and angry toward her. I hate feeling like this, but I don't know how to stop it. I am emotionally a wreck. Any advice??
Jade 44 <
>
USA -
Hi to everyone! I am new to this site. Just discovered it this week of Dec. 6, 1999. I have read alot of what you all have written, and I am so happy to have found you. I have been TTC for a year. DH had a semen analysis and he is fine. I have had a normal blood test and will go for a postcoital test next week. I cry everytime I get AF. Lately, I cry at everything and have been so down. I read stories of abandoned or abused children and think to myself how unfair. Why does God give children to people like that? I am sorry to ramble on. Thanks to everyone who contributes. I know I am not alone.
Kimberly C. <gt;
Atlanta, GA USA -
OOPS...LOL...look below...well here is the list.
12 Ways to get Pregnant
1. Make love with the lights on: get as much sunlight as possible.
never heard that b4 or since...lol
2. Make love between October and March.
okay...that might explain why so many women get pg in the cold winter months.
3. Make love on your birthday: fertility is season sensitive.
Dh and I have tried that for years...we Bd on his birthday now too...and any other occassion just for good measure...
4. Be turned on when you make love: touch and caress for 20-40 minutes prior to making love.
DUH!
5. Don't make love under an electric blanket.
DUH AGAIN. This one actually makes sense.
6. Make love close to the time of ovulation...
No comment.
7. Limit movement after intercourse: 20-30 minutes with pelvis tilted.
Okay no problem there.
8. Utilize fast withdrawl: Doggy style with orgasm = a boy and missionary style with no orgasm = a girl.
I would be happy for a boy or a girl....
9. Retain sperm in your vagina...hold lips together.
10. Avoid alcohol and drugs.
11. Take Robitussin, it thins mucus.
AND
12. Limit intercourse and or masterbation.
This book was actually written by 2 doctors. I will try to find out the title and let you ladies know. I found it funny and for a couple of years did everything that it said.
Good Luck to you all....look forward to someday soon seeing the +++++hpt. (((((Hugs)))))
Sylvia abd Bruce
Sylvia <
USA -
I read this in a book about how to concieve. It has been a couple of years but I wrote down the ideas they offered in each chapter. Now that I know more I have to laugh. Some of the chapters were funny and misleading.
Here they are.
Sylvia <
>
Dickinson, ND USA -
Hi everybody!
I've been TTC since July. Just started using the Clearplan fertility monitor.
Anybody else out there use one with any success??
Deana <>
MS USA -
> > (This was written by the CEO of Coca-Cola.)
> >
> > Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in
> > the air.
> >
> > You name them -- work, family, health, friends, and spirit, and
> > you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand
> > that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.
> > But the other four balls:
> >
> > -- family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass.
> >
> > If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked,
> > nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same.
> > You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?
> >
> > Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It
> > is because we are different that each of us is special.
> >
> > _ Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only
> > you know what is best for you.
> >
> > _ Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling
> > to them as you would your life, for without them, life is
> > meaningless.
> >
> > _ Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the
> > past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you
> > live ALL the days of your life.
> >
> > _ Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is
> > really over until the moment you stop trying.
> >
> > _ Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is
> > this fragile thread that binds us to each together.
> >
> > _ Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances
> > that we learn how to be brave.
> >
> > _ Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to
> > find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way
> > to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep
> > love is to give it wings.
> >
> > _ Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where
> > you've been, but also where you are going.
> >
> > _ Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel
> > appreciated.
> >
> > _ Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure
> > you can always carry easily.
> >
> > _ Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
> >
> > Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the
> > way.
> > Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, and Today is a
> > gift: that's why we call it - The Present."
mary eleopoulos <
>
long beach, ca USA -
I'm brand new to this site. I've read some pretty interesting
stuff so far. I was supposed to "start" today and haven't yet.
I have been using an OPK but didn't O until day 21. My husband and
I DTD that night. Can that be
normal? My breasts are extremely tender and I'm so very tired. I want to
take a HPT but I'm so afraid of the results. We've been trying unsuccessfully for
over a year but this is the first time I've tried an OPK. Today is 8 days past O. When is too
early to test? Please wish me luck.
Could I possibly
Susan <
>
Hillsboro, OR USA -
Hi Everyone,
I'm new to this site. I have one fantastically beautiful child, a boy, age 6. He definitely is the light of our lives.
He's reached the age where he wants a sibling. All of his friends have them, why can't he? That certainly breaks my heart when he says these things to me (unbeknowing to him of course). I keep telling him that we have to keep praying.
My infertility started 3+ years age when my son was almost 3. I had an ectopic pregnancy which was a very bad experience for me. I was afraid to get pregnant after that for the longest time.
When I reached 35, I decided I should try to get pregnant again so I don't have any regrets when I'm in my forties (not to mention the fact that my son wants a sibling).
Well, my doctor found out my remaining fallopian tube had adhesions all around it and I couldn't get pregnant unless I had it fixed. So I did have the surgery back in January '99.
I got a clean bill of fertility after the surgery and my doctor put me on Clomid. Well, it's going on 7 months of TTC and I certainly am getting frustrated and angry. My doctor is continuing with the Clomid, though. I just thought that after taking the Clomid, I'd of been pregnant by now!
The hardest thing for me though, and this sounds really mean, I have a really hard time feeling happy for those fertile myrtle's out there every time they get pregnant "again." And these are my best friends and inlaws. I get so jealous and then I get mad at myself for that. But even though I feel jealous, I certainly don't let them know my feelings.
It is such a roller coaster ride as so many of you have said!
Finding this site was a Godsend because I don't know anyone with infertility problems that I can talk to!
Thank you all for your kind support! And I'm looking forward to supporting you all too!
Jan <
>
USA -
I'm new to the wall. I think its great!!! I have been TTC for 2.5 years. I know that God will answer my prayers and I am expecting by blessing anyday now. Be ++++++++ and know that it's on the way!!!!
Debbie <
>
Greensboro, nc USA -
Hi. I'm new here : )
I'm looking for advice..and encouragement..and this looks like a good
place for both..and more. I read some of the previous postings, and have been
moved by them.
TTC is not easy Its good to have some support.
Lea <
>
TX USA -
Ever felt like crying about TTC? You are not alone! I wrote this one day when it seemed
all I could do was cry.........get your tissues ready...sniff
Today I awoke at 4am & found that af was after all well & truly here. I knew she was
coming, all the warning signs were there, it was no surprise....I've been here a
thousand times before, I know what its all about......
I cuddled up to dh & then the tears began....and I cried.
I cried because.....because its not fair, its too hard and it hurts.
Dh held me & I wept...
I wept... for all that could have been, all that was not meant to be, for holding onto the
hope of one elusive dream that hasn't come true & questioned WHY???
I sobbed....till I choked on my own breath, till my eyes swelled shut & my head felt
like it was in a vice. I sobbed while I remebered every fear & felt all the pain of what
has been, what might be & what is....
The tears subsided for a while & dh got up & got ready for work & the tears started
again....
I cried because I felt so alone, that my heart was breaking & that my whole life is
passing me by & I asked again WHY CAN'T I HAVE A BABY?????
Dh held me again, stroked my hair, rubbed my back & dried my tears & murmered
with his soft, deep soothing voice, "shhhh you're okay......ohhhh shhhh.. this has
been coming for a while......shhhh...nobody said you can't have a baby....ohhhh
shhhhh.....
He brought me breakfast in bed, a warm wash cloth for my face & hugged me again. I
told him to drive carefully & not to die today because I don't know what I'd do without
him, we exchanged "I love yous" & he left me with a wiggle of his butt & a grin.......
I'm still crying.....all the months of only shedding a tear, of being brave, of being
strong, of being positive....today it's not working...
If by chance you should meet me in the chat room or you feel like posting a
response, please don't give me a cliche....like.."keep your chin up" or ask how long
ttc or have you been to the dr, please just give me a hug & give me another tissue,
because today I've given myself permission & today I really need to cry.
Thank you for listening.
love to all
Kats
NZ -
"Little Egg"
Little Egg I saw you on the sonogram one day
You were sitting on the ovary and you were very large, I'll say
But soon you were released with hormones and with love
Your white circle floating on a journey from up above
>
I saw your boyfriend Mr. Sperm before he saw you
He was in a test tube and he was looking kind of cute
He was practicing his swimming and building up his strength
His journey would be long and he had to swim the length
>
I know you two have met before, but you never get along
How long will I have to wait to hear my Baby's song?
I'm 7dpo right now and hope you made a date
To join forces for implantation and help to change my fate
>
I think about you constantly with hope and adoration
But I don't know how much longer I can keep on waiting
To feel your precious touch would be the ultimate for me
> I will finally be able to draw that branch on our family tree
Nancy <
>
Babylon, NY USA -
LORD, I THANK YOU
Lord,
Thank you for this sink of dirty dishes; we have plenty of food to eat
Thank you for this pile of dirty laundry; we have plenty of nice clothes to wear.
And I would like to thank you, lord, for those unmade beds; they were so warm and comfortable last night. I know that many have no bed.
My thanks to you, Lord , for this bathroom, domplete with all the splattered mirrors, soggy, grimy towels and dirty sink. They are so convenient.
Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator that needs defrosting so badly; It has served us faithfully for many years. It is full of cold drinks and enough leftovers for 2 or 3 meals
Thank you, Lord for this oven that absolutely must be cleaned today; It has baked so many things over the years.
Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me says You have richly blessed my family. I shall do them cheerfully and shall do them gratefully.
Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings, thank you,Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf
Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank you, Lord, that I can see. Many are blind.
Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising, thank you, Lord that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.
Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned and tempers are short, my children are so loud, thank you Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.
Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the menu is at times not balanced, thank you Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry.
Even though the routine of my job is often monotonous, thank you Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.
Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest, thank you, Lord, for life.
And all god's people say...Amen
With a happy grateful heart to my friends who have supported me here....Love, Maimee
maimee <
>
long beach, ca USA -
Just remember that when everything feels really hard and complicated . . . you are a swimmer, swimming through a beautiful aqua green sea, and although each time you look up and see the shore, and see that you have made little or no progress, in fact you are building muscle, and with every stroke of your arm and kick with your leg, as you fight against the
current, you are getting stronger and stronger, and one day, that current will die down and you will take your next stroke, and make your next kick, and you will sail through the water, swimming faster than you had ever imagined possible . . . and the next time you look at the shore, you will be in a new place, far far away from the places and landmarks that are familiar, and . . . more important than where you are along the shore, you are a stronger and surer swimmer.
:o}
Momma Kath <rfurbus1@tampabay.rr.com>
St. Pete, FL USA -
The DPO Blues
Woke up this morning
My bbs were still sore
Wondern' if its all in my head
Maybe I am....
Then again maybe I'm not
Oh yeah, I got the dpo blues
I hope auntie stays away
But if her dog Spot
Comes for a visit
What will it mean?
Implantation or not?
I think I'm goin' crazy!
Feelin' a little crampy
Or maybe just crabby
Are my temps going to stay up?
Oh this roller coaster sucks
I've got the dpo blues
Rachel (Sunny) <>
USA -