This is from Stacy, 28, TTC #1 since 1-2001.

I hope this is the right address to send TTC success stories to, otherwise some innocent person is going to have a very strange message...

I went off the pill in January of 2001 after having been on it for about 8 years. My DH wasn't quite ready to start TTC, although I was. Anyway, we thought it be at least a few months until I got AF back and everything went back to normal. Well, after three months, no AF. My DH, a doctor but not an OB-GYN, told me he thought that was normal after being on the pill for so long and that I shouldn't worry. I thought that was wrong and some of my girlfriends said the same thing, so I went to my gynecologist. She said, oh well, no big deal, it's probably just from being on the pill for so long, if you haven't gotten it back in two months, come back. There I was two months later, and ... nothing. She gave me Provera to bring on a withdrawal bleed and again, nothing. This was the middle of May 2001 and I was really freaked out. The gyn. said she had no idea why I wouldn't respond to the Provera and that she would have to refer me to a RE, so that scared me even worse. OMG, I thought, even the doctor doesn 't know what's wrong with me. Well, the one good thing that gyn. did was to refer me to a great RE.

The RE told me it was NOT normal not to get your period at all after more than three months after going off the pill. She ran some tests and my hormones levels, estrogen, etc. were really, really low, very close to menopausal. Based upon my history (the fact that I am a former anorexic and an obsessive exerciser), she determined that the most likely problem was hypothalamic amenorrhea and anovulation. Basically, that means you exercise so much that your brain stops signaling your ovaries to do their thing and you don't ovulate. Ever. I went through a battery of tests to rule out other problems (including an MRI to make sure it wasn't a brain tumor (!)), and my DH had a SA which was perfect and finally, in early September 2001, we got the green light to go ahead and start trying to conceive.

I wasn't ovulating at all on my own, so the RE prescribed 50 mg of Clomid. She said that Clomid usually does not work for hypothalamics like me, but it was worth a shot because it was relatively cheap and without side effects. I didn't have any cycle at all, so I didn't have to wait to start, but I thought of those days as days 3-7, just for reference. DH and I went on vacation around the time I was supposed to have ovulated. It was also the week of Sept. 11, 2001 (and I am a NY native) so that really threw me and I didn't use an OPK or have an IUI or anything. We knew it must have worked though, because I got my period for the first time in 9 months. It was very light and only lasted about a day and a half, but it was something. In early October, I started my second Clomid cycle. About day 11, I had I think 2 decent follicles, but my uterine lining was really thin, so they said I should have an u/s before I had IUI. I didn't have a surge until about day 20 and went in for the IUI the same day, a Frid ay. The u/s showed the lining was fine, but the follicle hadn't burst yet. The following Monday, my boss asked me if I would be interested in going to work in our London office for about a month and a half. That was definitely going to mess up our TTC plans, as there was no way DH would have time to come visit me (he is a medical resident), but it was such a great opportunity, I couldn't pass it up. Besides, I thought, maybe that last IUI worked and I will find out I am PG in the UK. Well, I left for London the following Saturday and the next day I had a most unwelcome visit from the old hag, AF. Actually, it started on the plane ride over to London, ugh, so unpleasant! Plus, that was only 9 days after my surge, meaning an 8 or 9 day LP, way too short! I started to cry in the bathroom on the plane. I was sort of relieved to have a month off from TTC and to just spend some time alone in London. It was nice to be free from worrying about when and it I would O and when to BD and the thickness of the lin ing, etc.

I got back at the end of November and by then I was immediately ready to start trying again. DH wanted to wait though, because of the holidays and he also thought I was completely obsessed (which of course I was) and that I had completely gone off the deep end. He wanted me to get counseling. Men just don't understand what it is like for a woman once you decide you are ready to get pg! I agreed to wait until Jan. only because my Dr. said it might be hard for her to schedule the u/s's and IUI, etc. with the holidays coming up.

Started 50 mg. Clomid again Jan. 8, 2002. To me, it was already a full year since we had been TTC, even though I didn't ovulate for most of that time. I also did progesterone suppositories this time. I had a surge at CD 19 and IUI on CD 20. Wouldn't you know it, for the first time, DH had low motility! I was so upset (and the technician doing the IUI was kind of a jerk about it - it was a man, they don't get it), I cried in my car on the way in to my office. I figured i wouldn't work if none of the little guys could swim! Plus, the volume of the sample was low, too. Nevertheless, we had DTD on CD17 and 18 and on CD22, with IUI on CD 20.

A few days after the IUI, I started cramping, sort of like scaled-down AF cramps. This continued until about 11 dpiui. At 10 dpiui, I did an Aimstick pregnancy test, and a line appeared that was so faint I had to squint to see it. Seriously, it was almost invisible. At 12 days piui, I was out of town on a business trip and we were taking a van from the airport to the hotel and I felt so ill! I wasn't sure if this was out of the ordinary, I used to get carsick when I was a kid and I hadn't ridden in a van in a while. That night, I ordered a chef salad for dinner, which I usually love. It came and looked like an especially nice one, but I couldn't make myself eat it! That NEVER happens to me, ordinarily, if I see food I like, I will be hungry for it. The next day, 13 dpiui, I woke up (or rather, I say up in bed in the morning because I hadn't been able to sleep that night before) and felt mildly nauseous. Couldn't eat a thing, and I am normally very hungry when I wake up. I got down a little bit of w ater, but I wouldn't even let myself drink too much of that because I wanted to test later and didn't want to be too diluted. I had a presentation to give to about 70 salespeople and executives and I wasn't even nervous, because my mind was on other things!

Finally got home in the afternoon and with shaking hands, I took out the Aimstick. After 2 or 3 minutes, nothing. I was so disappointed, I felt so discouraged and sad! I went back to look after about 5 minutes and there was very faint line. Not quite as invisible as the last one, but almost as light. I started to shake. Maybe it meant something. I quickly did an EPT and CVS store brand tests. On both of those, at first nothing, but after about (an eternal) three or four minutes, very definite lines appeared on both of them!

I am numb and just hoping that this is real and that everything works out. I have a blood test scheduled for tomorrow at 9 am - wish me luck!

I SO empathize with everyone on this board. Numerous friends and relatives of mine have gotten pg. over the last year and each one was like a knife in my heart. This made me feel doubly bad for not being more happy for my friends and for being so jealous! I have been completely obsessed for the last few months and I haven't slept at all in almost a week. I know and understand how incredibly hard and consuming this is and I wish everyone of you the very best luck in the world and lots of love and support and understanding.