I got a VERY upsetting phone call from a parent yesterday who said that Ansley has been "bullying" her child for the past few weeks and hit her on the bus yesterday! The parent said that Ansley slapped her so hard that she had a red mark on her face when she got home. I was absolutely speechless, angry, in tears, etc. She had already contacted the school (teacher, guidance, asst. principal) about the "bullying" (I'll get to the quotes around that in a minute), yet nobody had contacted me about any of it. I was positively floored on so many levels. I asked her to ask her DD if anyone else saw Ansley hitting her and she named a couple of kids.
So I got off the phone, shaking, and went to talk to Ansley. According to Ansley, the girl had said "sit down, Ansley" in a bossy way, and Ansley threw her hand to the back of the seat to sit down, hitting her in the process. Ansley was adamant that it was NOT intentional. One of the kids who was a witness is a 6th grade boy, extremely mature, straight-A gifted kid, so I called and asked to speak with him. He said that Ansley just kind of threw her hand out to grab the back of the seat and that it *may* have incidentally hit the girl's face--so he basically backed up everything Ansley said. He said he didn't think there was any way that it could have really hurt of left a mark from what he saw. If Ansley had drawn her hand back and slapped someone hard enough to leave a mark, I would think that not only kids would have noticed it, but the patrol would have turned her in, the kids would all be talking about it, she'd have been all upset/shaken about the whole thing, etc. The kids all got off the bus laughing and normal. (the girl gets off a few stops away) Kate even wonders if the girl hit herself and blamed Ansley as she was a few seats up and didn't see or hear any of it.
I spoke with a friend whose DD is in Ansley's grade this morning and she was in absolute shock--she's known us for 4 years and has seen Ansley stick up for her own DD at times--she could not be more shocked that she's being accused of this.
I'm just hoping that, since she's been at this school for 4 years, the admin. knows her, knows, me, knows us, and there have been NO incidents whatsoever, that they will share that with this other family.
This parent could not give specific examples of the "bullying" that is supposedly going on. Ansley said that sometimes they'll disagree on games to play or whatever, but that if anything, this girl has been mean to HER and excluded HER from things. The mother said that Ansley is outright lying. Ansley told me to ask various other girls what happened--that THEY will tell me that Ansley is not doing anything and not lying. Ansley was crying and saying "how can I stop doing something to upset her if I don't even know what I'm doing?". I asked her if she'd ever teased her, laughed at her, given her dirty looks, excluded her, etc. and Ansley's eyes got huge and she said "Mom, NO! I would NEVER say anything to hurt someone like that!" and I believe her. She cries if she steps on an ant. She's one of the most loving, nurturing kids I've ever known. Her guidance counselor has told me several times how great she is at mediation and helping everyone to get along.
I sent a long email to the guidance counselor. Apparently the teacher has been contacted about whatever it is going on and she said she hasn't seen anything negative going on between the two of them.
I've gone from being extremely upset about my child hurting someone to now feeling angry and defensive, because I truly feel that she's being falsely accused of something. I'm not one of those parents who thinks my child can do no wrong--Ansley can be sassy and bratty, but there is a HUGE difference between that and BULLYING someone to the point that they feel threatened.
I'm at such a loss.
NEW: SOOOO sick and upset over a school situation and not sure what to do....m (views: 83)
-- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 10:28 AM
I think in this case .... (views: 45)
Goldie -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 10:48 AM
I agree with Goldie.... (views: 34)
KateH -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 11:05 AM
I agree also with Goldie (views: 31)
Pippi -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 11:17 AM
Well, the asst. principal just called...m (views: 70)
TennisMommy -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 11:46 AM
Not so sure I like the .... (views: 38)
Goldie -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 12:57 PM
Yeah- I would let the school (views: 31)
VictoriaN -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 01:24 PM
Ask the dentist for an extra shot of the good stuff!...... (views: 29)
KateH -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 01:31 PM
I agree with you.... (views: 27)
RockabillyMama -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 02:28 PM
Bullying is defintely not something to be taken lightly but I don't think the incident (views: 37)
MC -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 04:32 PM
Just got some more info that changes some things...m (views: 65)
TennisMommy -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 05:07 PM
I would (views: 33)
Pippi -- Thursday, 23 February 2012, at 07:33 PM
It's so hard (views: 26)
MegSHL -- Friday, 24 February 2012, at 07:42 AM
Yea, I'd be curious.... (views: 30)
RockabillyMama -- Friday, 24 February 2012, at 08:37 AM
Even the nicest kids can respond to stressful situations (M) (views: 32)
Jambalayamama -- Friday, 24 February 2012, at 11:37 AM