For Immediate Release October 12, 2000

AMERICAN INFERTILITY ASSOCIATION ISSUES NEW GUIDELINES ON TELLING CHILDREN THAT THEY WERE CONCEIVED USING OVUM DONATION - - -

The birth of the first child conceived through ovum donation in 1984 ushered in a new era in ifnnfertility treatment. Many children conceived with eggs from donors since then are now old enough to learn about their origins. - - -

Therapists who specialize in fertility issues urge parents to assess a child’s emotional and intellectual abilities in before deciding when and how to disclose information about use of donor eggs.

NEW YORK, NY – Before telling children that they were conceived using donated eggs from another woman, parents should first carefully assess a child’s emotional and intellectual capacity to process that information, according to new guidelines published by The American Infertility Association (AIA).

Since ovum donation was first used successfully in 1984, thousands of children have been born using this advanced infertility treatment. In this procedure, the egg from a donor is fertilized with sperm (usually from the male partner of a couple). The embryo is then implanted into the birth mother’s the recipient's uterus to achieve a pregnancy. Children born using this procedure are genetically linked to the donor rather than to the woman who gives birth.

Recognizing that some parents may choose never to share this information with their children while others choose partial or full disclosure, the new AIA guidelines provide important insights on a range of disclosure options. The recommendations were developed by Gloria Demby, CSW, and Patricia Mendell, CSW, two nationally-known therapists who specialize in treating individuals and couples who have experienced infertility. The most important guide in making that decision, according to the authors, is to understand what impact disclosure will have on a child and on the parent-child relationship.

“Ovum donation has been around for 16 years, but in that time parents have often had to make decisions on their own about discussing this important issue with their children. The AIA guidelines represent an important milestone in the history of advanced infertility treatment - we are recognizing that these treatments can have a lifelong impact on the child and the family, and that we need to address those issues carefully,” Demby said.

The new guidelines, Talking with Children About Ovum Donation, present advice for parents on options ranging from secrecy to full disclosure, including:

• Many experts feel that maintaining secrecy about ovum donation is not the best option for most children and families. They note the risk of an unplanned discovery and the negative impact that holding secrets can have on individuals and families. Despite these concerns, some parents do choose to keep this information a secret in an effort to protect their child and family. Because donation is often anonymous, parents may also feel that their ability to offer only incomplete information may not offer a child the desired levels of comfort and understanding. Therapists caution bonds of trust may be damaged if a child learns about ovum donation from a source other than parents. They also caution that, in the future, testing could make it easier for children to learn whether they are genetically linked to their parents.
• Partial disclosure is recognized as an important option for many parents for several reasons. Details can be presented in stages over several months or even years as a child develops and is able to process more information successfully. Parents can also monitor a child’s response to determine the optimal time to offer further details. Introducing the subject with partial disclosure also helps children to feel more comfortable about asking questions when they feel that they are ready for more information.
• Full disclosure is an option chosen by parents who believe that a child should be told about his or her origins from the beginning. These parents have may also need to also decided to talk with family members, parents,friends, and others about their use of ovum donation. This approach parallels current thinking about disclosure in adoption, which emphasizes openness and disclosure. Again, therapists caution that such decisions must be made with the child’s best interests in mind.

““Parents must recognize that this decision is not about their comfort alone. It is about the emotional needs of their child and the health of their family. For that reason, each parent must assess the different options available and strive to recognize which approach will work best for their family,”” Mendell said.

For parents who choose disclosure, the AIA guidelines note that children 4-5 years old are usually able to process basic information about how babies are conceived and born. During adolescence, therapists caution that children may probe for more information about their origins, and may also develop resentments toward parents for decisions that cause them to feel isolated and different.

According to the guidelines, parents should to present this news to children using positive language, noting that they are grateful and very happy that ovum donation made it possible to have a this child. Mothers should reinforce the bond with their child by discussing their own positive feelings about pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood. And when the father’s sperm is used in conception, the mother and father can reinforce their mutual involvement and participation in the conception and birth.

Talking to Children About Ovum Donation is published by The American Infertility Association and is available to the public free of charge from the AIA web site at www.americaninfertility.org. Development of Talking to Children About Ovum Donation was funded by an unrestricted educational grant from Organon, Inc.

The American Infertility Association (AIA), headquartered in New York City, is an independent national nonprofit organization dedicated to assisting women and men facing decisions related to family building and reproductive health – from prevention and treatment to social and psychological concerns – and to forward these causes through advocacy, education, awareness building and research funding. The mission of the AIA is to serve as a lifetime resource for men and women needing reproductive information and support.

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