Seeing red?

 

I am so sorry
if Aunt Flo's Arrival
was unexpected and not welcome

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

November 1, 2005
Momma Kath-
Please read and share this Aunt Flo hate poem. I hope that it is as therapeutic to those who read as it was for me to write it.
Love and ++++++++ thoughts,
Luci R, cd 2
October's Cycle
Months of quests for good conception,
Lots of sex without protection,
Temp at six and no exceptions,
Aunt Flo is one day late.

Dark line on my OPK,
EWCM for days and days,
Lord please make her stay away,
Aunt Flo is one day late.

Fantasies in pink and blue,
I wish and pray that they come true,
TTC girls say they will too,
Aunt Flo is one day late.

Boobs feel bigger and maybe sore,
Maybe I can smell things more,
Off we go now to the store,
Aunt Flo is one day late.

Do we wait for FMU?
I can't wait that long, can you?
Just incase, we bought two,
Aunt Flo is one day late.

Take it now, don't hesitate!
Two lines that will decide my fate,
Is all I want to see but wait!!!!!
Ohhhhh NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Seeing red, I close my eyes,
Such a horrible surprise,
OOOh that witch I do despise!!!
Aunt Flo is here to stay.



'Ode to Aunt Flo'

At the tender age of 8, I found a pad under the sink.
"What is this little diaper for?" I began to think.

I asked my mom about it, but being shy and proper,
She told me not to touch, it wasn't for me, but her.

At the self-conscious age of 13,
when all my friends had found Aunt Flo,
I began to pray and hope that I, too,
would soon have womanhood with proof to show.

Then the day that she did first come,
I began to suspect that it wasn't so great,
For she came unexpectedly at a pool party,
I guess she just couldn't wait.

At the experienced age of 21, I had my first big fright.
I imagined telling mom and dad that
I hadn't been so careful that one night.

But, Aunt Flo showed up a little late,
just in time for spring break,
That time I dared not complain about
her timing--the relief I was glad to take.

Now, at the frustrated age of 27,
I wish and pray that she'll stay away,
I take my temp, check my mucous,
and have sex almost every day.

But, month after month she shows up at my door,
I feel hurt but then must rally,
I'm afraid that all those times
I wished for her, she was keeping tally!!

So, one day soon the old hag and
I will finally even the score,
And she'll find herself lost on
the path and won't make it to my door.

I know it's corny,
but it is a better way to deal with this agony
than the way I was earlier this morning.
Hope I got a laugh out of someone!!

Holly
Posted By: HollyRae(27), cd1


My Ode to TTC
(dedicated to all those walking the walk)

Beep, beep, beep, time to take my BBT.
Up, down, up it goes.
Will I ovulate?

What!? I never knew I had mucus in places other than my nose!
It's not between my toes...
What!? I have to check where?
Boy I never knew my body did so much work!

Pee, pee on your ovulation sticks
or use your monitor today!
1 line? 2 lines? are they the same color?
3 bars and an egg shaped thing!
Ovulation is coming, time to jump in bed!

One day, two day, three day, four.
Make a little love, then make a little more.
Five day, six, phew! Time for a break!
Even dear hubby is starting to ache!

Oh, a temparature rise! One, two, three!
Three elevated days, mean now it's phase three!

Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Oh, what fun is this!
Two whole weeks to see if it was a hit or miss!

A few days till the dreaded thing is due!
Will it come or not?
Sure, hope it doesn't!

A tingle, a drop, run to the potty!
Is it here? I hope not!
Phew, false alarm!

Look up pregnancy symptoms.
What!? As menstruation they're the same!
This is enough to drive anyone insane!

Lump in my throat, tears in my eyes.
I find another attempt is unsuccessful.
"I'm back in the saddle again!"

Meanwhile, months go by and Sally, Meg and Jane are all pregnant!
It happened so quickly for them!
What's wrong with me?
I wonder, will it ever be?

The uncertainty breaks my heart!
Sometimes, it brings me to blubbering tears!
I want off this emotional roller coaster!

Beep, beep, beep time to take my BBT!
The cycle starts all over again.
In irritation I wonder who first said
"Trying to conceive is fun and exciting!"
Obviously, they've never actually TRIED it!

Now is a good time
to review your strategy for next cycle

Take a few moments
to review your last cycle
what you could add/delete
have your feelings changed?
.........
Check out
Herbs for her
~ ~ ~
Herbs for him
and what worked for others
Success Stories

 

Feeling funny???
Heart throbbing and you just
CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

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Leave your decision to a higher power

Ask the Oracle!

.........


Each cycle is new opportunity
to create a
MIRACLE!
.........
Remember
it's the Journey
not the Destination
So by all means:
Enjoy the TTC Journey
 
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    How many times
    have you been told
    something so outrageous
    you could SCREAM or LAUGH
    Misconceptions
    share yours with us!
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    It's hard to believe
    the annoying comments we hear
    when people know we are TTC
    Annoying Comments
    share yours with us!


    * * * * *


    LOLOL
    Check this out:
    If Men Could Menstruate
    by Gloria Steinem

    A white minority of the world has spent centuries conning us into thinking that a white skin makes people superior - even though the only thing it really does is make the more subject to ultraviolet rays and to wrinkles. Male human beings have built whole cultures around the idea that penis envy is "natural" to women - though having such an unprotected organ might be said to make men vulnerable, and the power to give birth makes womb envy at least as logical. In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless - and logic has nothing to do with it. What would happen, for instance, if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not? The answer is clear - menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much.

    Boys would mark the onset of menses, that longed-for proof of manhood, with religious ritual and stag parties. Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help stamp out monthly discomforts. Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. (Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of commercial brands such as John Wayne Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-dope Pads, Joe Namath Jock Shields - "For Those Light Bachelor Days," and Robert "Baretta" Blake Maxi-Pads.) Military men, right-wing politicians, and religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation ("men-struation") as proof that only men could serve in the Army ("you have to give blood to take blood"), occupy political office ("can women be aggressive without that steadfast cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be priest and ministers ("how could a woman give her blood for our sins?") or rabbis ("without the monthly loss of impurities, women remain unclean"). Male radicals, left-wing politicians, mystics, however, would insist that women are equal, just different, and that any woman could enter their ranks if she were willing to self-inflict a major wound every month ("you MUST give blood for the revolution"), recognize the preeminence of menstrual issues, or subordinate her selfness to all men in their Cycle of Enlightenment. Street guys would brag ("I'm a three pad man") or answer praise from a buddy ("Man, you lookin' good!") by giving fives and saying, "Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!" TV shows would treat the subject at length. ("Happy Days": Richie and Potsie try to convince Fonzie that he is still "The Fonz," though he has missed two periods in a row.) So would newspapers. (SHARK SCARE THREATENS MENSTRUATING MEN. JUDGE CITES MONTHLY STRESS IN PARDONING RAPIST.) And movies. (Newman and Redford in "Blood Brothers"!) Men would convince women that intercourse was more pleasurable at "that time of the month." Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself - though probably only because they needed a good menstruating man. Of course, male intellectuals would offer the most moral and logical arguments. How could a woman master any discipline that demanded a sense of time, space, mathematics, or measurement, for instance, without that in-built gift for measuring the cycles of the moon and planets - and thus for measuring anything at all? In the rarefied fields of philosophy and religion, could women compensate for missing the rhythm of the universe? Or for their lack of symbolic death-and-resurrection every month? Liberal males in every field would try to be kind: the fact that "these people" have no gift for measuring life or connecting to the universe, the liberals would explain, should be punishment enough. And how would women be trained to react? One can imagine traditional women agreeing to all arguments with a staunch and smiling masochism. ("The ERA would force housewives to wound themselves every month": Phyllis Schlafly. "Your husband's blood is as sacred as that of Jesus - and so sexy, too!": Marabel Morgan.) Reformers and Queen Bees would try to imitate men, and pretend to have a monthly cycle. All feminists would explain endlessly that men, too, needed to be liberated from the false idea of Martian aggressiveness, just as women needed to escape the bonds of menses envy. Radical feminist would add that the oppression of the nonmenstrual was the pattern for all other oppressions ("Vampires were our first freedom fighters!") Cultural feminists would develop a bloodless imagery in art and literature. Socialist feminists would insist that only under capitalism would men be able to monopolize menstrual blood . . . .
    In fact, if men could menstruate, the power justifications could probably go on forever.
    If we let them.

    The DPO Blues

    Woke up this morning
    My bbs were still sore
    Wondern' if its all in my head
    Maybe I am....
    Then again maybe I'm not
    Oh yeah, I got the dpo blues

    I hope auntie stays away
    But if her dog Spot
    Comes for a visit
    What will it mean?
    Implantation or not?
    I think I'm goin' crazy!

    Feelin' a little crampy
    Or maybe just crabby
    Are my temps going to stay up?
    Oh this roller coaster sucks
    I've got the dpo blues

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